The chilling words "we have a fetal demise for you to photograph," will always bring my stomach to knots. Many times before, I had received such a phone call, and selfishly found excuses that rendered me unavailable. This night, however, I felt called to abandon my own plans, to leave dinner with my family and instead, to photograph this precious angel.
From the moment I walked in the room I realized that this hurting family didn't need me, I needed them. I needed God to show me his unending mercy, grace and love in the instance of unfathomable loss. I felt tremendous anger for this mother, grieving the loss of her newborn son. As I attempted to fathom her pain, I began to consider the sea of emotions Mary felt as her Son was nailed to the cross. As my mind turned to Jesus, I pictured this baby boy far from the hospital room, whole, free from pain, and cradled in the arms of Jesus, our Savior.
How can this woman bare to smile after she just lost her first newborn son? I will tell you how, its not that she isn't hurting, she was chosen by God, her son was chosen by God. Let me tell you from my years of nursing and instances like this one, it takes a strong Woman, a strong family to bare the death of a child. God calls all people in accordance to his will, that I whole heartedly believe. God chose me to be in that room that day, he chose me to share this story with you all today. Although, I may never fully grasp the hurt of infancy loss, I know the pain of watching others hurt. If you have experienced infant loss, my message to you today is you are a wonderful and precious gift from God. Life is precious. It is my hope that in sharing these photographs, the testimonies of these families, of these tiny babies, it will bring healing to those who have suffered the same loss.
"You are rooted deep within my soul. Apart of me forever. In the deepest parts of my heart, there you are." - Jessi Snapp
{Fellow photographers interested in volunteering to offer services to families suffering from infant loss, please feel free to contact me and I will be happy to point you in the right direction.}
"But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." {Luke 18:16}
