Recently, as I read a blog post by Julie Paisley Photography , I was so deeply inspired by her humility. As I reflected on these intimate confessions of her own imperfections, I was reminded of another post I read recently on Her Little Light Blog, authored by a dear friend Katelyn French. These two women's willingness to expose that which society tells us to keep hidden served as my motivation to be vulnerable in this post.
My original intent was to share with you the flawless birthing experience that I captured last Wednesday, June 15; however, to portray this day as seamless would mean doing an injustice to myself, my readers, and the mother of this precious child. Upon arriving at Hannah's delivery, I was under the impression that I would be able to photograph her Cesarean delivery as I have done in the past for other women. After capturing a few details, I was told I would not be able to photograph the experience. I brokenheartedly handed my camera over to one of the medical staff, in hopes that she would be able to capture some of those special moments.
As I sat helplessly praying that even a single photo would be in focus, I became increasingly aware of my own selfishness. This mother, who carried her child for over 40 weeks, had every intention of delivering naturally. She spent months constructing the "perfect" birth plan, going over every detail, and endlessly envisioning the moment that her first born would enter the world—only to find that God had a different plan entirely. Who was I to mourn a missed photo-op as this glowing mother smiled through a delivery that went against every preconceived notion she had of her son's birthday? As I was passed back my camera, the disappointment I had earlier felt was immediately erased. A perfect, precious new life had entered the world, and not a single person was concerned with how he got there.
Far too often we are held to unreasonable standards by both society and ourselves. Capture every moment blissfully, but don't capture too much; breast feed, but not in public; don't give your baby a pacifier, but keep him/her quiet; deliver naturally, but if an alternative method is medically necessary you should be ashamed. Is a mother who pushed according to plan any different from a mother who had her organs exposed on an operating table? Each and every life is a breathtaking miracle.
As your photographer, I am not there to create a "perfect" moment, but rather to capture the raw emotion, to embrace the reality, and, above all else, to give you something to cherish for the rest of your life.
"It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." - Myquillyn Smith
